A time to die

There are already nearly a dozen countries where assisted dying is legal. It is time we joined them.

Several years ago, an elderly relative of mine fell out of bed and broke her hip. She was approaching her hundredth birthday, was nearly blind and extremely deaf. The quality of her life, according to any objective assessment, was exceedingly low.

Every time I visited her, her answer to my question ‘So how are you feeling today?’ was ‘I wish I wasn’t here any more.’

So the fall, when it came, seemed likely to hasten the outcome for which she had been hoping. We agreed with the doctors that they would make her as comfortable as they could and let nature take its course.

But she lingered. She was barely conscious, unable to speak and seemed to be in constant pain. So when a consultant came to check on her, we had a conversation.

In code.

Me: She still seems to be in a lot of pain.

Him: Unfortunately, the only thing we can do is increase her morphine dose.

Me: I think that might be a very good idea.

Him: You do understand what that would mean, don’t you?’

Me: Yes. I do.

Him: Fine. I’ll do what I can.

That night, my relative died.

Did the doctor break the law? Did I? Did my relative die an ‘assisted death’ or a natural death?

Because it’s such a grey area — and because the current legal uncertainty places such a huge burden on both medical staff and relatives — I am wholeheartedly in favour of Kim Leadbeater’s private member’s bill to legalise assisted dying.

Like most people, I see no reason why we should deny to our nearest and dearest — in very limited and clearly defined circumstances — the opportunity to choose the manner of their death.

Yes, of course we need a far better palliative care service. When my father died at the age of ninety-eight, he received superb care and ended his life as we would all wish to: pain-free, and surrounded by his family in the secure environment of a well-run care home paid for by the NHS.

So it can be done. It needs an updated legal framework for those cases when nature is less kind than it was to my Dad, and a properly-resourced care sector staffed by well-trained staff.

We live in a society that offers us endless choices at the click of a button or the merest tap on a touch-screen. I wouldn’t go so far as to argue that we should simply be offered an online choice of ‘Accept’ or ‘Reject’ when it comes to assisted dying. But there are already nearly a dozen countries where it is legal. It is time we joined them.